In a move to “improve the customer experience,” Metra plans to hire 43  Daily Commuter Puppeteers to entertain and distract riders from hair oil on windows and that peculiar odor when aging equipment experiences brake problems.

Drawing on funds designated for Non-Essential Track Maintenance, the various commuter lines serving Chicago’s suburbs will “offer a cheering experience” for riders often taken up with I-Phones, laptops, and the daily papers. Frank Pearwhistle, Vice President for Customer Service notes” We can sure use something to lighten things up. As it stands, we’re still looking at 3 months of gray weather, slush, and downhearted passengers. Puppetry seems the right (low budget) answer!”

“Even allowing for the cramped spaces and short run times between stations, we feel this is a timely investment in Chicago’s aging puppetry infrastructure.” says John Turnstyle, Chief Entertainment Officer for Metra.

Modeled on the successful Belgian Railroad’s program of the 1960′s “Spectacle du Marionettes sur Le Choo-Choo”..” this program is sure to create a more cheerful commuting experience,” notes Metra’s Turnstyle.  Several yet-to-designated stations in distressed upscale suburban locations will install temporary puppet theaters, with three early morning shows daily.

“We’re gonna have to staff up for this.” speculates Harvey Kahler, the Guild’s VP for Railroad Affairs.” Our free Transport-Certified Puppeteer Training (TCPTP) Program will ramp up quickly, so if Metra can just be a little patient on some of its routes, we’ll be ready in time for this Winter rollout!”

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